I Mock Because I Care

It must be the cough syrup talking, because I have an overwhelming need to mock the "Holiday Horse" in the November/December issue of JAH. For those of you who still haven’t received your JAH, here’s a scan of it, so you can play along:


I’m assuming it’s next year’s horse, but the text doesn’t make it clear. Even if it does turn out to be something else entirely (in other words, Rare and Exclusive) that still doesn’t temper my urge to laugh and point at it. I laugh and point at Flockies all the time, hasn’t affected their perceived value any.

Anyway, I spot this beauty in JAH, and the first thought that popped into my head really was "Did they hot glue a bunch of broken ornaments to an oven mitt?"

They nominally discontinued Halloween Horses because of a "lack of ideas," but then they assemble this silly thing, apparently assembled from all of the leftover bits that didn’t make the cut on previous Holiday Horses.

I do still sorta like it, though. With the right amount of money, anybody can have a "pretty" or "classy" holiday display, but I prefer the unique-crazy-weird-tacky-homemade displays this horse embodies. They seem more sincere to me.

That’s the kind of Christmas I grew up with, too: everyone else in the extended family would have the traditional tree with glass ornaments, a sparkly garland, and maybe some tinsel. At our house, we’d have a tree made entirely out of pinecones and chicken wire. Or completely covered in fake pink poinsettias.

(This year’s theme was felt … at least, until our little furry Grinch decided felt was delicious.)

I’ve collected a number of vintage books and magazines with crafts of Christmases past - partly for inspiration, but also for my amusement. I mean, come on, how can you not love "Hobo Santa?"


Or Rudolph, the Zombie Reindeer?


Or my personal favorite:


The actual text accompanying the photograph, from the 1961 issue of Woman’s Day Best Ideas for Christmas:

This Santa scene is very easy to duplicate. Just buy (or make) a Santa suit, fill it with rags, cotton, newspaper, etc., and put it on an outdoor lounge. Scene says that Santa gets tired, too, and he can use a rest himself some time. Add long sheet of paper for list.

I dunno. The first thing the scene said to me that Santa had a cardiac event. Either in, or on his way to the bathroom.

I do like the selection of the Misty’s Twilight mold as a Holiday Horse - it has a very old-fashioned, Currier & Ives feel to it, like she should be pulling a sleigh or sulky. Strange that they’d go with another Bay - the mold already came in that color, as Dover, in 1996 and 1997. It is hard to tell what’s underneath all that bric-a-brac, though: for all we know, she could be a bay roan overo or snowcap Appaloosa.

Avalanche!

Whatever I had over the weekend is still kicking the stuffing out of me. The only symptom I have at this point is exhaustion - I actually fell asleep while attempting a change of clothes today! That was entirely the dog’s fault: she was so excited at her first real experience with snow that I ended up taking a couple of nasty tumbles on our walk today. No injuries mercifully, just muddy, soggy clothes.

Speaking of the dog… we do crate her. Vita is almost constantly supervised: it’s literally the moment when our back is turned that the trouble tends to occur.

She doesn’t have any major behavioral issues other than the "wanting to eat everything" one. She’s great with other dogs, good with kids, doesn’t bark too much, is mostly potty-trained, has no problem with the vet, the groomer, inclement weather or the mail carrier.

Well, she likes to run too, but the leash usually puts a stop to her more antic antics.

Most of the problem is that she’s a Wire Fox Terrier. Anyone who had any experience at all with terriers knows they’re not into the "obedience" thing. We just have to figure out a way to convince her that chewing on her bones is way more fun than nibbling on hubcaps and underpants.

Now onto another calamitous event: the Alpine avalanche.

I was among the unfortunate multitudes who never managed to break through the Alpine phone lines. I never even made it as far as an answering machine: all I got was an hour and a half of busy signals. Another Silver Filigree out of my reach. Sigh.

I admire them for experimenting with other forms of distribution, but I wish Reeves would go back to Shopatron for these kinds of specials. I’d rather take the gamble of a canceled order than the agony of hitting redial over and over. It’d eliminate some of the human errors, too, such as the reports I’ve heard of some people managing to get in orders for multiples. (Does this company have no institutional memory AT ALL? Criminy!)

What’s really saddening is to see the level of acceptance within the hobby for what is essentially scalping behavior. No, "everyone in the hobby" does not do it: I don’t. I’ll turn around items I find at the flea market for a tidy profit, but when it comes to collector-direct items, I won’t do it. If I do buy something for someone, it usually goes to him or her at cost plus postage.

What I’m doing is bringing items that were out of the market and putting it back into it. Buying a model like Alpine and slapping it on eBay 15 minutes later is more akin to ransoming: you’re taking it out of the hands of someone who wants it more, and gambling that the monetary difference is worth the effort.

I sure could use the money, but I’m not sure I could live with myself if I did something like that.

It Is What It Is

That was one Epic Fail Weekend.

First, we discover that all the effort we put into making 150 ornaments for this year's XMAS tree was wasted, because the dog wants to eat them. And she nearly knocked over the tree several times over the course of the weekend. Lovely. (She also ate my favorite sweater.)

Then, I discovered I had a previously unknown food allergy. Swell. (Fortunately, it's something I can easily avoid.)

Third, I caught a rather nasty virus that put me out of commission for most of the rest of the weekend. Awesome. (The Nyquil is.)

Fourth, my computer caught something, too - totally lost my Internet connection for about 6 hours on Sunday. FTW!

The weekend wasn't a complete failure: I did manage to get all the rough data compiled in my Great Breyer Tack Project, all 30 single-spaced pages of it. I have nothing groundbreaking to report yet, other than my shock that the No. 7500 Wood Corral - the long, foldy one - has been in continuous production since 1983. I had no idea. I wonder how much footage that translates into?

It still has a ways to go before it becomes the longest running production item ever - the Palomino Western Horse and Polled Hereford Bull both have at least a decade on it - but it’s certainly the longest running item currently in production. If you’re looking for an excellent "gotcha" question for a Breyer trivia contest, there you go.

Other than the tack project, the only other things I’ve been able to manage in between the various crises are the last bits of my sales for the year. I didn’t quite get what I hoped for anything on eBay - except for a couple of items that bidders absolutely positively thought were Chalkies, despite my entreaties to the contrary.

What is up with that, anyway? Every time I post pictures of something just a shade whiter than average, I suddenly get barraged with requests for pictures of the bottoms of the hooves. The first couple of times I complied, until I realized what they were trying to suss out of those photos. Nowadays I just e-mail back "It’s not a Chalky."

That used to stop them in the past - but now they’re e-mailing me and telling me I’m wrong! What the heck?

Normally I’m not a big fan of the "Do you know who I am?" line of response, but if there ever was a situation that called for it, there it is.

Look, not everyone has the same level of knowledge in the hobby, but I whenever I’m dealing with any hobbyist - in person, on the phone, or electronically - I always assume that he or she is not an idiot. You didn’t just happen to accidentally bump into me on the Internet, at BreyerFest, or call me completely at random.

That’s how I try to write my posts here: I work with the assumption that your visits aren’t completely an accident. It took a little bit of knowledge for you to find me, or at the very least, an interest in Breyer History. I share what I know, and you share with me: we might not be equals in terms of quantity or quality of information, but we each know enough to have meaningful exchanges.

Flying Green Unicorns!

Will I be getting the latest Web Special, Alpine? Maybe. You know how I am when it comes to Silver Filigrees. It’s the fact that it’s a telephone-only sale that’s making me hesitate: I’m somewhat telephone-phobic. The sale isn’t until Tuesday, but the thought of spending a couple of hours hitting redial is already giving me the heebie-jeebies. (Yeah, I’m not a very happy camper on HIN Reservation Day, either.)

I’m also a little annoyed by it - not that it’s another super-limited Silver Filigree, but that it’s another super-limited Esprit. Another one, really? Great. That means is that we’re in for several days of hobbyists dismissing him as an "easy pass," and then attempting to buy one anyway to resell to the people who really do want one.

Personally, I was hoping for a Decorator Mountain Goat. Now there’s a mold we haven’t seen in a while - since 2005, to be precise. But could they sell 250 Decorator Mountain Goats? Alas, probably not.

I don’t think they could sell 250 White Moose, either, but that was the speculation du jour on Blab today. Seriously - a White Moose? I love the Moose mold myself, but I can’t imagine them making a white one. Yeah, they exist, but what would be the rationale for making one - aside from a slight association with Christmas, or cuteness?

If you’re looking for an idea that might have some genuine selling power to it, a White Stag would be a better choice. Google "White Stag" or "White Deer" or even "White Hart," and you’ll see what I’m talking about. A "White Stag" would be a natural for next year’s "Fairytails" BreyerFest theme, especially as the non-horse item for the Line Specials.

I doubt they’d do it. One, they already sorta did one for the BreyerFest auction back in 2007: hobbyists kind of get annoyed when a "test color" becomes an actual production run. (Even though that used to be the whole point of test colors.) Two, breakage issues with the tines would be a nightmare, especially if they’re bubble-wrapped and bagged like most Line Specials. I imagine the inevitable Unicorn SR is going to be trouble enough.

Oh, and if you’re going to do a little more research on mythical or legendary horse-type things, do yourselves a favor and check out the awesome Táltos Horse. Here is how he’s described on the Wikipedia (via the page on Táltos, or Hungarian shamans):

The táltos always had a horse, frequently appearing in Hungarian folk tales as a white stallion with wings. However, the Táltos Horse always had jade colored skin, causing them to be mocked by everybody. It is said in myths, that only the táltos could see the real powers hidden in the horse.

When they met, only the táltos could ride the horse, and it was always "flying like thought". This way the táltos is able to meditate (révül).

The horse can have a unicorn horn and wings, visible to the táltos during meditation (révül). The unicorn horn signifies the horse's special spiritual power, as it is a single horn that grows straight out of the brain. The wings define the ability to fly between the three worlds of Hungarian mythology. The táltos horse could have "gold hair", and also eat hot cinders.

Doesn’t he sound like something straight off of a Dethklok album cover?

I know it’s Wikipedia, and therefore of dubious veracity, but dang it - a jade green flying unicorn that eats fire? Now that would be one badass BreyerFest SR.

Tracking Tack

Busy, busy, busy: shipping packages, making holiday ornaments, chasing down the dog. I spent a good half an hour today chasing her through the more wooded areas of our subdivision today - and another half pulling all the burrs out of my coat. No sweaters for Vita this Christmas - the little monster loves it cold!

In between the random moments of chaos, I’ve decided undertake another research topic: tack and accessories. (I have the week off, I might as well take advantage of it, right?)

I’ve pretty much ignored the subject of tack altogether: whenever I had a choice between buying more horses, or more tack, I almost always bought the horse. After a few half-hearted attempts at making my own, I came to the realization that I didn’t have that special kind of crazy in me to be a performance shower.

This lack of engagement also extended to Breyer-made tack and accessories, unless it came in a set with a particularly interesting horse (i.e. ill-fated Palomino Adios) or was being modeled by one (the never-released Slate Gray Smart Chic Olena.)

Although Breyers came with molded-on tack and accessories from the very beginning, it wasn’t until the early 1970s that they started selling tack and accessories independent from the models themselves. I’ll only have about 40 years worth of research to do, instead of 60+, and I’m not going to bother trying to track down every color or design change. I don’t think most people are interested in Breyer tack and accessories to that level of detail, yet.

I’m only doing it for my own peace of mind: if it’s a Breyer product, I have to keep track of it. Heck, I keep track of dealer assortment numbers, store assortment numbers, and mold numbers, so why not obsess over tack a while? Someone’s gotta do it, right?

Since I don’t have any great insights into the world of Breyer tack right now, I’ll just share a photograph of a model whose rarity is solely defined by its tack:


It’s the #P45 White Fury/Prancer, with the incredibly scarce English Saddle option: the Racehorse’s saddle, with the Canadian Mountie’s saddle blanket in red.


When the Fury/Prancer was originally released in 1956, it could be ordered with either a Western or an English saddle. The fine print on the original dealer sheet explains why more dealers didn’t go with the English Saddle option: they had to ask for it!


All mention of the English Saddle option is gone by 1958; considering its rarity, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was discontinued by 1957. If you’re lucky, you’ll see maybe one of these turn up in any given year, where they’re sometimes mistaken as a variation of the Canadian Mountie’s horse.

That’s what I assumed when I found mine at the local flea market, until I showed a picture of mine to Marney, and she set me straight. That 1956 dealer sheet - something I didn't have access to, then - is the only paper evidence we have of what it really was.

Appaloosa Yearlings

I’ve never been much of a Black Friday enthusiast; aside from the horses, there’s never been anything I needed so badly that I was willing to stand in line for hours in the rain or cold. There are a few things I intend on picking up today, but there is nothing I need to stand in a line for.

I briefly considered making a Toys R Us run to pick up the half-priced Stablemates set, but then I remembered the mistake I made a couple weeks ago. I had a half an hour to kill before work, the TRU was right across the street, and I thought what the heck, I’ll go check out the Breyer selection.

Not realizing it was the same night as their "Midnight Madness" sale.

That sort of thing happens to me all the time. It’s like I have an internal flash mob GPS. (Have you ever asked yourself "How on Earth did I end up in the middle of a Jesse Jackson rally?" I have.)

With absolutely no segue whatsoever, I present to you my Appaloosa Yearling chorus line:


(You’ll just have to pretend that the Palomino Western Pony is my Chalky Yearling, who for reasons unknown even to me is apparently detained somewhere else for the duration.)

I hardly ever find Liver Chestnut Yearlings, and Palomino ones aren’t super common in these parts, either. But at any given time, I always have at least one Appaloosa Yearling either on my saleslist, or in my body box. If I manage to sell one, the Universe manages to put in an automatic restock order.

That’s how come I have about a half dozen in my collection. You get that many passing through, and you’re bound to find variations. Big blankets, small blankets, different blazes, differently colored spots? Yup, gotta keep 'em.

There’s only one I consciously sought out - the two sock variation. She was a tough one: it took me a while to find her, and she’s not minty mint. It’s definitely an earlier variation, but it’s not one seen in any catalogs or other contemporaneous PR materials: all of the pictures of her from 1971 onward show her with those solid, Sandy Bay legs.


The Appaloosa Yearling is the only Breyer model to come in this peculiar shade of bay-that’s-not-bay. I can’t even recall seeing any vintage test colors that might have sported it. The closest match is the #154 Bay Blanket POA, whose color tends to be much warmer and more orangey.

The fact that the color is peculiar to the Appaloosa Yearling makes me wonder if they were modeling it after a specific, real-life horse. I haven’t found any evidence of that, but it’s another one of those notions I keep in the back of my mind as I mine old horse magazines for other precious nuggets of Breyer info.

More Glosses. Whatever.

All this whining about the Winter Othellos is starting to turn me off Glosses. Reeves should have made the Winter a Gambler’s Choice: if the off-the-shelf models in the series were available in Matte and Gloss from the very beginning, the Winters should have been too.

Then the whining would have been confined to individual tales of personal bad luck, instead of devolving into tedious arguments about the incompetence of Reeves’ marketing strategies. There’s much to be criticized there, no doubt, but the level of discourse rarely rises above "I didn’t get exactly what I wanted" = BAD.

I fall into that trap sometimes, myself: it wouldn’t take much effort on my part to construct a fairly righteous rant about my inability to secure a reasonably priced Diamond Jubilee, and the crazy way they seem to have distributed them. (No rhyme or reason, there.)

Speaking of crazy distribution patterns, I have no idea how the whole Gloss Valentine & Heartbreaker thing is going to pan out, either. Is this just a one-time thing, or all year/run long? Totally random, or a true one to five ratio?

It’d be nice if they did stick to the "one gloss for every five matte" ratio. That’d mean 1000 Gloss sets for every 5000 Mattes produced. If we peg the sales at a conservative 18,000 pieces, that’d be 3000 gloss sets out in the wild - more than enough to satisfy demand.

(Yes, really.)

It’s still too early to tell what Reeves is doing at this point. Trotting over to your favorite online dealer and placing an order for a Gloss one seems a little presumptuous to me.

It’s clear that they’re tinkering with different distribution patterns. I’m all for that: the more equitable or random the system, the better. The way it is now, some hobby-specific retailers have sort of gamed the system, and taken the "hunt" out of the treasure hunts.

I like the possibility that any given store might contain some rare or random treasure, even if it means that I might not get everything I want - like a Diamond Jubilee. The trick for Reeves is going to be in finally finding just the right plan - and hoping they won’t have ticked us all off by the time they do.

I do feel kind of sorry for the dealers: this should be the time of the year when everyone starts to get excited about the next year’s releases, tour stops, and the first real news about BreyerFest. Instead, everyone's having another meltdown about another glossy that may or may not be all that rare. And taking it out on them.

If I get lucky, I get lucky. I don’t have the time or the money to chase every shiny object waved in front of my face.